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matthew_jeske
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Metro: Rockford
Interests: Hey, people, send me an email:kjeske@juno.com (family email) or M23jeske@hotmail.com
Comics News Comics Opinon- by an all-girl cast!
Comics Criticism
I am interested in you. But I am also interested in Old Movies, Tapioca, and Lefsa. Is that enough for you, sucka?
Expertise: comic books,
obscure trivia,
black belt in free association,
kung-fu
(I wish)
Occupation: Prepress
Industry: Printing
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/13/2005
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| "Has-beens are often worse than Wannabes.
Wannabes are at least striving for something...has-beens are living in old glory days that were probably far less than glorious. Sigh...that's all I will say about that. "
-from Hannah Tran's xanga
This weekend was definitely far from the usual. It started with a wild zombie-themed party on Friday, which went well into Saturday. (which was the second-such party this apartment has seen) It was great fun, I got a chance to improve on my zombie makeup , and my friends Lauren, Lorleanne (sp?) and Rachel came out for it. I ended up seeing a good chunk of the bizarre Japanese rock'n'roll zombie movie Wild Zero. Josh (my roommate) was the one who threw the party, and it struck me how different the party was from any party I would put on. That probably was a big part of why I had so much fun.
I could be the kind of guy that threw that kind of party, but I would have to change a little. I've been thinking a lot lately about were I am in life, and how I am, or if I am, 'stuck' in the state of things. I've also remarked a lot of times, that people are hard to change. The hardest thing to change is a person. Bad habits are hard to drop, personality traits that we despise in ourselves are the most stubborn ones to be eradicated, and it can take catastrophic events to cause us to grow, becuase we refuse to grow on our own. This is one reason why Personal Testimony of the change that Jesus makes in oneself is one of the strongest arguments for someone else becoming a Christian. When people know who you were before, and they see a change, it's startling. Because people. just. dont. change. that. easily.
Tonight, as I was driving home in the dark, I had one of those idea light bulbs pop up over my head, and I thought about the issue of being 'stuck' in a different way. Maybe the reasons its hard for me to change me, why I resist the change I sometimes think would be good for me (boy, am I divided, or what?) is not just that I'm stubborn, but may actually be something positive. Maybe the reason its hard for us to change is some sort of internal regulating mechanism that keeps us from turning into something that we never meant to be. We all know how annoying it can be to see someone who's fake, who works to support an image, whose personality only has roots that go back a few years, 'cause that's when the guy invented himself. Maybe that's what it is.
Maybe.
I wasn't going to write a xanga entry tonight, then I read a couple of Hannah's entries and they were so beautiful that I had to. It's pleasant to sit down, and write while listening to Pedro the Lion's "Winners Never Quit" all the way through. My post isn't really a comment on the quote from hers, but they are kind of related, I guess.
I've got a lot of stuff to get done this week. Including... the purchasing of a mop to clean up all the fake-blood stains on the kitchen floor. (Zombie party, remember?)
Ciao.
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| I've been thinking about making some changes to how I use xanga. This might lead to a lot more updates, but It might also mean a lot more *ahem* specialized subject matter. But maybe pictures as well. | | |
| Yesterday I got off work, deposited my check, went home, finished reading the Daredevil: Born Again paperback (such a good book, and its so very, very hard-boiled). I got a little rest on the couch, and then I went to on the waterfront. I wandered around a little bit, went past Harlan Jefferson, and went to the Koortman Design Center store. (They have this tin robot toy I wanna get, but its 40 bucks!) Then Lauren called me, and we met up by down by the miltary recruiters. We walked around a bit and I got a call from Fil, who I talked into coming down. We had to meet him outside the gate so I could give him money so he could get in. It was fun hanging out, and I got to see The Black Crowes, Ruthie Foster, The Chi-Lites, and a tiny bit of a reggae band called King Solomon. All in All, a good time. | | |
| I think I may have unresolved issues from high school, because I just spent an half hour hunting through clips of "Freaks and Geeks" on YouTube. I don't know whether that's sad or universal. | | |
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